Carl was a friend of mine – but it didn’t start out that way. I first heard his voice on my answering machine after we ran an article lamenting our attempts to raise some funds to start our research in creativity. He said that he had seen and enjoyed the article, that he would like to get together and discuss “ideas” with me, and ended by saying: “and I bet you can’t guess by my voice how old I am”.
 
Now, I get a lot of calls from assorted nuts, especially when we do any publicity related to our research. I usually spend all the time necessary to hear people out, which is really what most folks are wanting. But despite my wife Annie telling me “you need to call that guy back” I let it lapse (how did that nut get my home number anyway) and shortly forgot about Carl’s call.
 
Then he called back.
 
“This is Carl Hawk and I would like to get together some time to talk about my ideas regarding creativity” he repeated into my answering machine, “and I wonder if you can guess how old I am by the sound of my voice.” So, I called him back.
 
This began the most wonderful relationship (second only to my wife) that I have had in my life. Carl and I got together to discuss “ideas” at least every other week. He would come, faithfully, to the MIND Institute, to talk with me for an hour about life, relationships, ideas, dreams, fears, and aspirations. This went on nearly 2 years.
 
Carl was 86 years old when we started our conversations. He was always dapper in his cardigan sweaters, his bolo ties, and his full head of silver hair. He “infected” the MIND with his presence and became friends with numerous folks there, many of whom made a unique connection with him during a casual conversation, and most of whom are here today. He was a fixture at any event we had at the MIND, and could always be counted on to identify the prettiest woman in the room to strike up a conversation.
 
Carl was proud of many things in his life: his marriage to Ann, his being a “chief” in the Navy, his work at Sandia National Labs, but most of all, I think he was proud that he brought people together to talk about ideas.
 
Carl had some rules to live by that I want to share with you. Here are my top 10:
 
1). Always have something to look forward to.
2). Get up at 6:00 or 6:30 and have a cup of coffee and read the morning paper. Read the evening paper also, to stay informed. Listen to talk radio while reading the paper.
3). If you read an interesting item, write or call the person in the article.
4). Don’t let people down. If you plan on attending some function, don’t cancel just because it would be easier to stay home.
5). Stay as well groomed as possible: ditch the Levi’s.
6). Throw away the Lazy Boy. Once you start sitting down it will be harder to get up.
7). Join as many informal groups as possible.
8). Ration TV viewing to mostly educational programs. Forget renting movies.
9). Note: so far I haven’t said run or walk a mile or two each day because if you keep on-the-go all day long you won’t need the extra exercise. And remember, a moving target is harder to hit.
10). Very important: make new friends.
 
One of my last memories of Carl was on June 28th, when he and his “much younger” girlfriend Wanda (I think she is in her 70’s) came to dinner at our home. We had a wonderful evening, talking, laughing, flirting, and sharing a meal together. When Carl and Wanda left in his sweet metallic green 280 Z, Carl punched it down our street, speeding off into the night, his conquest complete.
 
I am very proud to say that Carl was a friend of mine – but it didn’t start out that way.